The Crackin' Backs Podcast

Bulletproof Resilience: John Arroyo's Journey from Fort Hood to Inspiring Millions

• Dr. Terry Weyman and Dr. Spencer Baron

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Get ready for an episode that will truly shake the foundation of your spirit and inspire your very core. With us today is a man whose story of survival and valor will send shivers down your spine, and at the same time, warm your heart with its testament to human strength and resilience.

From the gritty streets to the rigorous battlegrounds, and then to an unexpected and harrowing confrontation at Fort Hood in August 2014, our guest, Army Green Beret, John Arroyo, faced adversities that most of us can't even fathom. On that fateful day, a .45-caliber bullet tore through his neck, but it couldn't quench his indomitable spirit. Instead of succumbing, he not only survived but emerged as a beacon of hope, warning others and preventing further mayhem.

This isn't just a tale of a narrow escape from death; it's a profound reflection on heroism, the battles of the mind, and the unwavering human spirit. Today, John will delve deep, taking us on a journey through his life's lessons, the moments that defined him, and his mission to uplift others with his awe-inspiring tale.

Listeners, fasten your seatbelts. As we unravel John's story, we'll dive into questions like:

Was he a born survivor or was this resilient mentality cultivated along his tumultuous journey?

What does it feel like to stand at death's door and then choose to fight back?

And, how did understanding his assailant's motives shape his personal healing?

From facing the loss of his arm's function, grappling with depression, to rising as a sought-after motivational speaker, John Arroyo is here to share his story, answer your burning questions, and challenge your perception of strength and survival.

So, let's dive into this incredible journey of a true modern-day hero. Welcome, John, to Crackin Backs Podcast.

We are two sports chiropractors, seeking knowledge from some of the best resources in the world of health. From our perspective, health is more than just “Crackin Backs” but a deep dive into physical, mental, and nutritional well-being philosophies.

Join us as we talk to some of the greatest minds and discover some of the most incredible gems you can use to maintain a higher level of health. Crackin Backs Podcast

Dr. Spencer Baron:

listeners. Today we have a guest whose story will grip you from the very start. Imagine facing a bullet, not just any bullet, but a 45 caliber right in your neck, and Living to Tell the Tale. John Arroyo shot at Fort Hood in 2014 did not just survive but emerged as a beacon of heroism, warning others and becoming a lifeline in a dire situation, from the streets to the battlefield. And now to our podcast. John embodies resilience and the underlying human spirit, dive in, as we explore the layers of his journey from survival, heroism, to the depths of mental health. It's John, it is great to have you on us incredible story that I can't wait for you to share. I was sharing it with one of my staff this morning, and they got goosebumps and almost got teary eyed I guess. I don't even know the story as well as you're gonna share it, obviously. But it's an honor to have you. For those listening. You gained notoriety when you were shot in the neck at on August in August of 2014. At Fort Hood, you were the one that we heard about nationally, if not internationally, you got shot with a 45. You not only survived, but you were credited with saving many lives by warning others of the shooter, this story, man, I just got goosebumps just now telling this, that this story has so many layers to it. And it's a story of heroism, survival, mental health and human spirit. And, you know, we just, you know, do you believe with your past that you were born to be a survivor? Or did you learn this mentality along the

Unknown:

way? Well, sir, first of all, I just want to say thank you for having me on. And I appreciate the opportunity to sit with you gentlemen today and to be able to, you know, just share my story of survival and resilience and perseverance with your listeners, because I think once or I think that's, that's really needed right now. I think there's a lot of people right now that just just need to get up in their situation. And maybe they're a mom, you know, and, and their kids, and you know, they're a new, you know, maybe they're a new family, and they just, you know, they're not empty nesters anymore, and they're just figuring out how to do life and all those things that that just life brings us. And I'll say this, the sort of answer your question, I believe that that spirit, the the get up was already in me. It was just a matter of it was just a matter of activating it or refining it. And I say it like this, you know, just recently I did a presentation. And I talked about the you know, the, the sword you ever see the that show forged in fire, right where they, they take this block of steel, and they stick it in the fire and they pull it out, and they just pound on that thing. And they stick it back in the fire and they pull it out? Well, that beautiful, what what ends up happening is that it goes through a violent process of pounding, and in being forged in the fire and coming out of the fire. But what was in that steel all along, had already been there before it was a sword. Right before it became that beautiful knife that was going to go on display all the elements of of what was that made up that block of steel was already there. And that for me, I believe that and I say this because I'm a man of faith. So I stand on my faith. And I believe that my Creator is who put my DNA put everything that was inside of me. So when I when it was time to use it, and I was I was aligned with him, I was able to pull it out. And it came out of me because he had put it in me from before time began. That's what I believe.

Dr. Terry Weyman:

You know, you you were born a fighter and in in, in the early your early years when I was kind of you know, looking you up a little bit. You start out in the gangs in the streets of LA and so you started fighting probably out of the womb and you can talk about that. And then you became a Green Baret. So then you turn your fight to another battlefield. Then you became a you're battling for your life. So yo and we'll talk about because we talked about off air, but when I looked at those initial pictures that you and your gang saw you didn't smile man, you had that badass tough mother. effing look to you And and now you have this light. I just met you and I'm drawn to your smile drawn to your light. Yeah. Can you talk about each section of your life and what being a fire meant?

Unknown:

Yes. So early on, but you know, my dad died when I was a young boy. And you know, if you want to know if you want to know, just turn on the television, you want to know who's burning down cities. It's a fatherless generation. Right. It's a fatherless generation. And my dad died when I was five years old. I would say just a young boy, I say five years old. And my mom corrected me the other day and I got I'm like, Mom, I got this written in a book, like, you know. And so anyways, the way I remember it, I was I was a real young boy, I was about five years old, and my dad died of cirrhosis of the liver. He essentially drank himself to death when his uncle's were young, when he was young. His uncle's thought it was cute to give them alcohol, so they could be amused while they were while they were having their party. And what that did is that imported into my family and my dad at 34 years old dies. So I'm this young boy, that never heard my dad say, You're my son, and who won? Well, please, I love you, son. Let's go throw the ball together, son. Hey, you're thinking about going to college? Why don't we sit down and talk about you know, where the direction you're headed? Hey, why don't you go and work work on the car with me. I had none of that. I never heard any of those things. And so when a young boy is not affirmed by their daddy, right, so don't get me wrong, mom and dad, but for me, I was affirmed by my mom, I had a good mother, but I didn't have that affirmation. And for my daddy, and I'll say this, that my also I believe that young boys they they look to their, to their father to their dad is like their, their identity. A lot of young boys get their identity from their father from their dad and home. And my dad wasn't there. So what happened is, I became a fighter. Because I needed affirmation I needed I needed to be approved. And even though like and I, for some reason, I didn't allow my mother to be that affirmation source in my life. I had a good mother and a good grandmother and a good family. But I took the authority, the affirmation authority from them, and I gave it to my knuckleheaded friends. So as my source of affirmation, and let me just say this, let me give you a current term for what I was doing. I was chasing likes, on social media, you do a post, you put that post up, maybe it's up yourself big, big, and then you're sitting there and you're waiting for people to affirm you and approve you. Because there's an emptiness in your heart that has never been filled. And it's never going to be filled on social media, which is why what happened is my friends, they saw the gangs, they thought the gangs were cool. I was growing up in the early 90s 80s and early 90s. In Los Angeles, gangster rap came on the scene, all of a sudden, he was f the police and you know, blah, blah, blah. And my friends thought gangs will call. And so what I did, is I needed them to give me their likes, I needed them to affirm me. So I went and became a gang member at a set at seventh grade. By ninth grade. I'm a teenage father. And by 12th grade, I'm introducing methamphetamines. And it was it was my family that saw through the addiction and through the lies, right, because when you're when you're living in addiction, the world sees right through the lies, you're the one that's truly deceived. And that's what happened. So that was my first fight. My first fight was not having a dad and having to run after affirmation having to run after approval, because I didn't first get it at home, where I should have gotten it. And then second, my sister talked me into joining the military because now that I was a teenage father, I was giving my son the same thing. I was giving him nothing until the military came on. Because I needed I needed that. I needed that discipline I never received at home. So I'll stop there. If you guys want to ask any questions before I go on you. I showed up. So my sister takes me she takes me to Army recruiter and she says Hey, John, are you know my middle name is Manuel so she's like, You need to you need to get out of here. You're going to be a loser the rest of your life. I said, Well, I mean, what do you want me to do? At this point? She had me living with her and she was like, I'm gonna keep an eye on you. My my sister became my mother. You know, my, my, my actual biological mother I can. She was real. passive and I can manipulate her but I couldn't manipulate my sister. And so my sister had me sleeping on her couch. And you know, meth addicts, you stay up all night and you sleep all day. That's what meth addicts do. So my sister wouldn't let me sleep past nine in the morning, and she would come over and she would pour water on me. She began to waterboard me before I even joined the military. I mean, it was serious. She takes me to this, she takes me to this recruiter. And by this time, this is now this is 1998, early 1998, about February, March timeframe. And she takes me this recruiter in Pasadena, California. And he has me take the ASVAB test, and I fail it, I fail it, I get a 29 on a test, you need a 30 on and I go back six, I would say about six weeks later, I think it was and I before I take the test, my recruiter gives me a little coaching. He says don't leave any answers blank, like don't leave nothing blank. I'm like, okay, so I take the test and I score 31. And I asked the recruiter, I said, Hey, I just want to be a truck driver. A good good majority of the men in my family are truck drivers. Plus the military wasn't a career for me. It was it was just a starting point to get some discipline and really, like kick the drugs and get my life started. And so I said, Hey, look, I'm looking for truck driver. He said, No, no, no, you're gonna be a soldier. It's not truck driving. It's motor transport operator, unlike Okay, yeah. That's, that's a nice pretty word for Dude, you're a truck driver. Actually, I show up in the 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. And you know that, fellas, let me tell you something, we discipline that discipline that I was looking for. I didn't have to go find it anymore. It found me. Oh, I often tell my wife and I do this. Jokingly, honey, if I ever come up missing and you need my DNA, just go back to Fort Bragg, North Carolina just swab the ground because my DNA is all over that baby. But you know, this is where this is where young John Arroyo 2021 years old finally found a man a man and a woman that showed them tough love that showed them that saw what was inside of me. We talked about that forging process what was inside of you? And and how did that come out? It's when my leaders in my first army unit in the 82nd Airborne Division looked inside my soul and saw the leadership ability stole the Green Baret and begin to call it out now. No, think about Tiger Woods in his dead what is Dead Sea and him when he was young. And he begin to call that out? Right? And he and he formed that relationship with his son and that bond and called out his destiny. So I hate to say this, but unfortunately, it it wasn't until I joined the military that that I really began to find my true identity. And it was because finally I found men and women that were leaders that were leaders and spoke into my life and then pulled out who was really there. And then I will say that that orphan heart was still there like it wasn't healed yet. So my peers on on Fort Bragg, North Carolina is where like homeless Special Operations is Green Baret units and you know, special forces and Army Rangers and Delta Force. And my peers were like, oh my goodness, those Rangers, those army, those Green Baret. They're the best like we need, like, man, they're amazing. So go back. I was chasing likes again. You know, I needed affirmation. So I started telling my peers that I was going to be a Green Baret. I didn't even know what a Green Baret was. And I didn't even know what a Green Baret did, but I didn't care. I just needed them to pat me on the back. It's because I had no intentions on going to be in a Green Baret. But what I did want is I wanted their approval. Right? Because you know how many of you when he started telling people that you were gonna go to you know, chiropractor school or you were going to go do something all of a sudden everyone starts cheering you on Go, man. Yeah. Hey, did you hear about what he's gonna do? And they're cheering you on? You hadn't even started school yet? You could have failed, right? And so for me, I just, I just needed the accolades. I just needed that the approval and then one day one of my one of my co workers walks up to me and he had been the green Baret election and he says, Hey, why don't you try out to be a Green Baret shut your mouth? I mean, this was put up or shut up time. So John Arroyo tries out to be a Green Baret because what do I use it I use this I use my mouth so I definitely wasn't going to that live wasn't going to shut my mouth. So in September 10 2001, I start selection to become an army Green Baret these are tryouts, right Navy SEALs, they got their BUDS training, that's just your that's just Hell Week. So September 11 2001, the day that we all know, the colonel pulls us in a classroom and says, today's young men, we're now a nation at war. And we said, No, we're not part of your scenario, you're going to throw us in the woods with all this equipment. And you're going to, you know, this is just a scene a scenario. And he says, No, we're now a nation at war. And if you want to be a part of what's going to happen in the next few years, you're in the right place at the right time. I make it all the way to the end, 24 days, and the colonel pulls me in his office, and he or pulls me into a board like a like a selection board. And he says, I just want to tell you, like, I don't think that you're academically going to make this. Your scores your academic scores are, they're really low. And we don't think that you'll you'll make it through our qualification course. So if you want to be a Green Baret, you're going to have to go back. So let me talk to you about my second fight. My second fight was first my identity. The second one was identifying myself as a failure. See, in junior high, I was just passed along. I, the teachers didn't, I didn't graduate junior high, they just sent me on to high school, because they didn't want a 21 year old eighth grader with a beard. You know, I get it. I understand. I mean, one of the things that I think I could have would have been okay is like I could have paid for my own lunch. And I could have drove myself to school, it's probably the only thing that would have worked out for me during that time, right. But so, then I get into high school. And I don't even cross an academic stage in high school, I have to take a summer class after graduation, in which I didn't cross the stage with all my peers. And the teacher's assistant gave me the answers to the test for me to pass that exam. I cheated. I cheated to get out of high school. And then I failed the ASVAB. And now here I am, I'm standing in front of this Colonel. And he's looking at me, and this is what he's really saying to me. You're not smart enough to be one of the most elite warriors in the world. And so I just, I took on that identity is a failure. And as a matter of fact, it became so ingrained in me that when I sat down to take any kind of exam, I actually, I actually expected to fail. It was like, it was like, I expect to fail like that test anxiety. You hear people say, Well, I have I have test anxiety, what are they doing? They're self prophesying, that they're gonna fail. And I had so so much failure in my life, with the gangs and failing the ASVAB. And then now this Colonel telling me this and never graduating. And I just saw myself as a failure. Until Until I went back to the Green Baret. I went back a second time, and I made it and I'll be honest with you, gentlemen, I don't know what I did different. But I got selected. In one June 2004. Assignment, the third special force, third Special Forces Group, I became a Green Baret. I did three combat tours to to Afghanistan and one to Iraq. And now, this is why I started failing the third piece. I wasn't only failing academically, but I brought failure home as a father. Now I'm married. And I have two children, two stepchildren. And I'm coming back from Afghanistan, and I'm bringing the tension. I'm bringing this I'm bringing this tension. Oh, and by the way, see, daddies don't think and mommies don't think that they're imparting to their children. But what I brought into my life, and what I brought into my situation, was that alcohol, see, I couldn't do methamphetamines anymore. But what I did is I brought the tension of war, and I brought alcohol into my home. And I told my wife, oh, if you want to hang out with me, you need to grab one of those. And my children, my children, my stepchildren, and my son. My son, John Jr. still lived in California, but in but my wife and my two stepchildren, they live with me. They were nine and 11 when they came my life. But what happened is, I still had that California street mentality, even though I was in the military. You've heard it like you can take the boy out, but you can't take that out of the boy. Right? And so that's the mentality I had. So my children grew up in these barbecues and beers in this in the street mentality, to include the the anxiousness that I brought back from war and the overindulgence of alcohol. And so during that time, I would say it was about 2006 to two 1009 Our home was very tumultuous it was my wife walked on eggshells. My children walked on eggshells, I would fly off the handle. I didn't beat my family. But oh, I could cut them down with my tongue. And so I just brought this brokenness, I brought war into our home. And during that time, gentlemen, my wife attempted suicide twice. My wife is a two time suicide survivor. And it was always under the influence of alcohol. But what she felt is that she was in the middle of my children and I, because in 2006, I got into a motorcycle accident. And I ended up taking a second job while I was in the military, because I was doing a desk job and I'm selling cars, that car max on the side, so I can listen to this so I can make $100 more. My wife was a nurse working seven, eight to seven p, I'm working two jobs. I didn't need to, and I had teenagers at home. Who do you think was raising my teenagers when I was at Carmex? The world, the world raised my kids and I got the world's results in my home. But you know what, I didn't know any different because I didn't grow up with the dead. These are these are the foundational pieces of my life that I that I lacked. I didn't know that my family needed to come first and not not the old greenback. And my kids started getting in trouble. They started smoking weed, they started doing things that they shouldn't be. And you know what I did? I blamed them never me. I mean, why would I be blamed? Who I mean, come on. I'm the one out there making money. I'm the Green Baret. I'm doing all this. You're not doing it right? No, they needed a father in their life. And I was an absent parent. And oh, by the way, I blame my wife as well. So my wife felt like she was in the middle of the kids and I and she just wanted to escape the pain. She wanted to escape the guy that was just angry all the time. But in 2009, we walked into a church. And I've just be honest with you, that's what saved our marriage. That's what saved my life. That's what saved my wife's life. We drug we drug our brokenness and with us, we dragged it along. But over time, through our relationship in our faith, that is what cleaned out our heart. That is what got us to a point where we were better. And then I got this opportunity to become an army officer and go from enlisted to officer and that was 2011. And believe me, I didn't think it was possible because you're talking to the guy that almost failed everything or, or had to recycle and do it again. And so when I got accepted to this officer program, there was like, instant anxiety because I could shoot, move and communicate for a living but now, but now you're going to tell me that I got to write papers for living. Like I was freaked out there was no way because I didn't see myself as an academic. Right? I saw myself as a failure is a loser. I could I was good knuckle dragger I could I could jump out of airplanes, I could go chase bad guys up mountains. But if I had to sit down and put a paragraph on a paper, it was hard for me. But I get accepted to this officer program. And when I graduate college, I graduated with a 3.9 GPA ranked number 80 in the nation among 4000 cadets. After that happened, that's, you know, I believe that again, as I leaned back on my faith, I believe I stepped into my calling, I believe I stepped into who I was honestly supposed to be. But then I had been on Fort Bragg North Carolina now at this point for like 15 years. And you know, Fort Bragg is where Spartans are made, and I was tired of being a Spartan, because that's it wears on your body to be a Spartan, let me just tell you that right, your knees, your back carrying packs, you know, I wasn't 20 years old anymore. Now I'm 30 plus. And so I talked to my, my assignment manager, and I said, Hey, let's, let's go somewhere else. And so he said, Hey, look, I can I can put you up Fort Hood, Texas, you know, I was like, man, that'd be great. So my wife and I show up at Fort Hood, Texas now on this new officer, and it's great. And we get there about November of 2013. And let me just tell you this quick story. So I get there. And whenever when I was a young soldier in the 82nd Airborne Division when we got brand new leaders, Fort Bragg is a very physical base. And so when we got a new leader, we were going to run and we were going to run their heart out until like we it was put up or shut up and we went and nobody talked to that new leader until 06 30. That first day and we were going to go on a long Ron, so I'm in I'm anticipating this with the soldiers. I'm like, oh, man, I'm gonna crush these soldiers. And then I'm gonna build them back up. Like they don't they don't know who's showing up on the scene, I'm, oh, they're gonna get it. So sergeants up front, and he is he is getting the formation together, and he's stretching everybody out. And then he says, hey, look, if you can't run, I need you to step aside. Well, I wasn't really paying attention, because I'm not 20 years old, like they are. I'm 36 at the time. So you know, I'm stretching and but I turned my head and I look at the formation and all of a sudden, the formation moved. There wasn't 40 soldiers in front of me going to go on the run anymore. Now there was two as 38 soldiers were not going to run. And I was like, like, what happened, I thought I was going to challenge these guys. Here's what I what I realized. And I think this is important for your listeners to hear. And I'm sure as as chiropractors, you guys have to help people identify that their condition is not their identity. One of the greatest challenges that I had for my soldiers is that they were still effective members of the US Army and the army needed them just because they couldn't run or they couldn't run that day, or they had a medical condition that didn't allow them to run, or limited their, their physical ability for us for a time didn't mean that that condition was their identity. And what happens is people receive diagnosis is, or they, they go see doctors and they get put on something or it says you're limited for a period, or you have to do something, or you can't do it. And but what they do is they take that diagnosis, and they put it on like a T shirt, and they wear it. They don't realize that that is something temporary. And if they do, and they follow what the doctor saying through physical therapy, they don't have to live with that. And so that is what I had to do. I had to, I had to look at my soldiers in the face and say that just like me, I'm no longer a failure. I am now thriving. I'm the guy that failed almost everything, but yet I'm the one here encouraging you. And I'm telling you right now that diagnosis is not your identity. And so I had to pull them out of that darkness and say, Look, let me tell you something, you're going to be okay. And then over time, that was my greatest leadership challenge is really helping those young kids because who knows, maybe they came from a life like John Arroyo, maybe some of them didn't grow up with a mom or a dad. A lot of times I don't think people understand it. But but a lot of the what the world is dealing with is Mom and Dad wounds. It's mom and daddy issues that were never healed. And so they just sometimes when you get broken, or Or what happens is when you get broken, not people think that oh, well, maybe maybe it's because I couldn't run know what happened is instantly, you went back to that time when someone said you're a loser, you're never going to make it in but you you never dealt with that and you held it in your heart. So anyways, that's what I had to do. We're going to quickly move forward to we're going to fast forward to April 2 of 2014. So it wasn't August, it was April, it was April 2 2014. It's four o'clock in the afternoon, I got I'm getting out of my car, and I shut the door and I have to go to my unit headquarters and and I turn and I'm walking in. And I And instantly I hear shots fired. And I'm like, Whoa, what is that? I'm not in Iraq or Afghanistan. And so I'm in the parking lot of First Medical Brigade. That's that's where I was. That's where I worked. And I but and you know, when you're on base and you hear shots fired, you like you discount it, right? I didn't, I didn't think that I was in any kind of danger, especially on base. And there's times that we do funeral details, right. So like when veterans die, you know, we ever see the 21 gun salute, things like that at funerals, to the military is who actually sent soldiers to do that. So it's not uncommon to hear blanks being shot or something like that for training. But so that's what I was assuming I was assuming that I was hearing blanks being fired, but something just wouldn't let me move from the spot I was standing in. And I turned on my one o'clock to where I heard the shots fired. And I'm looking and there's a road that divides my organization from a transportation unit. And that's where I heard the shots coming from from this one o'clock road. And a car pulls up and it pulls up in front of me and I see the car and I acknowledged the individual but I turned my head back to where I heard the shots fired. And I'm kinda like like this looking. In the next shot I heard rip through my throat April 2 of 2014. I took a 45 caliber that severed my jugular vein and because I was like this, it went through my jugular vein through my voice box and traveled into my brachial plexus in my right shoulder and stopped in my scapula. I can tell you more those medical terms because you understand them and the driver drove off and I'm standing there and it felt like a baseball bat hit my chest and I'm like, what I just shot and then instantly the the reality of my situation just begins to start pouring out in my hand is my blood pouring out of my my neck and I turn and I walk back towards my car and I fall flat on my face and my life is pouring out and you know, I think your listeners need to know this a 45 caliber through a jugular vein through my throat straight into my brachial plexus instant death for probably 99% of the time it's instant death but for some reason I lived and I walked back to my car and I'm falling flat. I fall flat on my face in my life is pouring out in gentlemen let let this is important. And this is where your listeners need to hear is I was as I watched my blood pour out on the ground I wasn't thinking about all those things. They gave me identity all those things that I chased after all my life even even with my wife, right? I mean is that now here I am this this army officer so I go from being a truck driver to a Green Beret army officer, right? So this this career is just shoring and it's going up, right? But every time how many how many of us have told our spouses, honey, just wait, let me do this, honey, just wait after this, honey, just wait, I'm gonna give you this. And I'm trying to give my family this life that they never asked me for. All they really ever asked me for was me. But I was trying to give them stuff because I was filled, I was trying to fill an empty hole that was never going to be filled by material items. It was only going to be it was only going to be filled by the reality that although I didn't have a dad, I always had a father. And he is in heaven. And so as I laid on the ground, I didn't think about the likes. I didn't think about the emails that my commander was waiting for. I didn't think about the money that I that I had in my bank account or how much how much more I was going to make. When I ended up on that fortune 500 company I didn't think about all the material things that had consumed my life. The only thing I thought about it when I thought I only had seconds to live with the people that I sacrificed most. Everything else never once came into my mind. Everything else that that consumed my mind 90% of the time in that moment did not come to my mind. And as I laid there, my life's pouring out I hear this audible voice and it says John get up or your wife is going to die. I shrugged it off because I had never experienced anything like that. And the voice didn't come from outside came from inside. And I knew it wasn't me while later later as I as I reflected on everything I had I knew wasn't me because I don't call myself John. So I'm laying on the ground and I hear again John get up or your wife is gonna die. Well I think your listeners may some of your listeners may be able to relate to this. If I walked in their house right now I would see what's going on in their home. But what was going on in my home is six months before I was shot when we left Fort Bragg North Carolina to move to Fort Hood. And I went to Officer School in San Antonio, Texas. My mother in law died. The day I finished officer school. Nine days later, my father in law died of cancer. Two years before that my brother in law died in a hunting accident where my father in law loaded his gun set it down. Big group is going big game hunting, and the gun goes off on its own hits my brother on hip and he dies and my father in law's arms. My wife had lost her brother, her mother, her father, and oh, by the way, sometimes debt brings division and families and when she her parents died, her living brother and sister they all stopped talking. And so she lost everybody. Now I'm on the ground and my life is pouring out. And essentially I believe what God was telling me was that if you don't get up off the ground, your wife is not going to make a mistake this time. She is going to take her life and I had a choice. You know it was easier. It was easier For me to stay on the ground and die that day, it was easier for me to let my life pour out on the ground. I mean, if they would have just told my wife Angel, it's a it was a kill shot. I mean, don't angel before he even hit the ground. He was gone. But I wouldn't mean and the voice told me what was going to happen to my wife. Your wife is going to die. So what would have happened to my children? Grandpa's gone uncle's gone, grandma's gone. Dad just got killed in a mass shooting. And mom just took her life. What do you think would have happened to my legacy? It would have ever been wiped out. But I chose to get up. I chose to listen to that voice and said get up. And I got up and I held on to my throat. And my right arm is not working because the bullet went to my right. Nerve bundle. And I'm walking. And I see a soldier walking towards me. And this is a base that holds 1000s of soldiers. But at this time, there's only one soldier I see. And I'm just stumbling towards him. I don't know how many steps I got left in me, but I just have to I have to just keep moving. And he gets 10 feet in front of me. And he stops and I look at him. And he's looking at me. But he's like really frantic. And I realized I'm standing in front of the man that just shot me. He shot me from his car, drove off, got out of his car, walks back looking for more people to shoot. He's standing in front of me. And do you remember that voice that told me to get up? Now I'm standing in front of this guy and he doesn't see me and I believe that there was a divine intervention. And God blinded this guy. He turns walks into this building that we're both standing in front of shoots three more people walked out the back and takes his own life. That day he shot 19 of us. I move away when he walks away from me and some soldiers see me and this is what they said alerted them to me. It said it looked like I had a red scarf flapping in the wind of the blood squirting out of my neck. They get me in the back of a truck, they get me to the hospital. One of the doctors innovates me keeps my airway open. They get me to the elevator to get me into the O R and and now all the doctors in that hospital are rushing towards the ER because it's a mass casualty situation. So they get me they the elevator doors open and they go to push me in his elevator and two doctors come to run out head towards the ER. And they were the Ear, Nose and Throat surgeons. Everything I needed was exactly where it needed to be the moment I obeyed God when he told me to get up. So my wife has to come identify me she said your head was so swelling your tongue wanting to fit back in your mouth. The next day is Thursday, I come out of my second surgery and I tell my wife he'll be in a medically induced coma until Saturday. This is Thursday when they're telling you that she walks away from the doctor. She walked up to me she grabs my hand and I wake up right there on the spot. The doctors are crying, the nurses are crying, they can't explain it. And I begin to try to speak which I can't for some time. And I began to try to tell my wife what happened. And so I'll stop right there. And I'm here today because I got up

Dr. Terry Weyman:

we're gonna let Spencer

Dr. Spencer Baron:

eight John, let me know if you if you ever learned why this why the shooter did it wasn't he was a soldier wasn't he? Wasn't?

Unknown:

Yeah. So I know that he kind of went out for a second, but I believe he he was trying to go on leave. I think a mother or grandmother had died. I think his grandmother passed away. And he's from Puerto Rico. And he's trying to go on leave. And there was just some some issues going on with giving him the his lead form wasn't being approved fast enough. And he just ultimately he was a broken soldier as well. Right? So he didn't he didn't have he was broken. And this just pulled them over that hump. And so he went after the people that hadn't signed his leave form. And then he just went after chain of command and then from that point on, he just kept going jumped in a vehicle and just started randomly shooting people. So what when I heard shots fired while he was doing a shooting at everybody he saw as he was driving down the road and then he pulls in my parking lot and I'm standing right there

Dr. Spencer Baron:

Do you have any PTSD from that still?

Unknown:

Not so much. It's been you know, again, I lean a lot on my faith and I I believe in it and I'll tell you some of the things when and active shooter events happen, you know if they happen today I could I feel like maybe a little anxiousness. You know, and I could tell that I'm a little bit more vigilant, but not to the point where I throw myself in the closet and lock the door and don't come out for 10 days, you know, one of those things I, I, I push past the anxiousness and fear. And here's, here's what I did. This is how I believe I was able to overcome 30 days after I was shot, and I don't know if you guys saw my book, but attacked at home, there's a book that I wrote called attacked at home, and there's a page in there. And there's a there's a picture. And you know what, I'll just pull it up real quick. So I turned my phone off. Anyways, I went back to Fort Hood, 30 days after I was shot. And I stood on the very place I was shot, and I claim victory over it. But really, what was I doing, I was facing my fears and my pain, rather than running from them, I believe that I went back to that God sent me back there to stand on that place. Because if I didn't go back there, I would be stuck mentally and emotionally, I wouldn't have been able to move forward. And every time an active shooter event would have happened, I would have just broke like, like a $2 suit, you know, or, or I wouldn't have been able to move forward. So I go back there, I stand on that place. And I and I face my fears and my pain. Rather than run from them in these days. Nobody wants to face their fears and their pain. They don't if they if they start feeling anxiousness. If they start feeling anything, they're not willing to go back and deal with deal with the root cause. So what they do is they'll take a pill, they'll take a pill and it just numbs emotions, or they'll do a treatment. And I'm not saying that the medic, obviously you guys are doctors. I'm not saying that, that medical treatment is not is not needed. It's definitely needed. But it's not ever to supplement going into the root. Right? You can't just numb symptoms, or else you will never transform you will never heal. Why is it that I'm here? Why is it that you want to you guys said men, you do a lot of interviews, you go all over the world. Wild? Why am I doing that? Because I actually heal. One of the other ways I was able to heal is when I forgave the man who shot me. Think about that. I mean, that's a crazy statement. I forgave the shooter. As a matter of fact, I love Ivan Lopez That's crazy to say. But if I didn't forgive him, he was already dead. But if I didn't forgive him, I would carry bitterness in my heart, the entire life my entire life. And it would just come out in alcoholism, it would come out in PTSD, it would come out in anger and rage. But when I forgave the shooter, I was able to unload all that heaviness from my heart. And then here's the other thing. I had to forgive myself

Dr. Spencer Baron:

for hurting others.

Unknown:

You want to talk, you want to know how I'm here right now telling this story, I'm able to do it with a smile on my face with joy in my heart, because I did the hard stuff. I made fake the foundation of who I am. Because you can't stand out saying you got to stand on a foundation. I made fake the number one thing. And then I built upon that because my wife was broken. I couldn't lean on her. She was more broken than I was. She had she went into shock when she went into the hospital because just six months before she was in a hospital with her daddy when he was dying.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

Yeah. To get her a question, you you do a lot of motivational speaking and you tell your story often. Is there a question that you are often asked during or after your program?

Unknown:

Yeah, I mean, I think I think it's kind of what you just asked like, you know, how did you make it? How did you get because a lot of people think about this gentleman. Why is the Self Help section in any bookstore, the largest section because people are looking for transformation in their in themselves. It can be diet, but these days, it's anxiety, fear depression is just overwhelming. And so people ask me often, John, how did you get to a place where you are not wrapped up in the VA in the corner and a wet paper blanket? How is it that you're here encouraging us and I tell them the truth. I made faith number one. I went back and I dealt with my fear my pain. I avoided alcohol. I tell my counselors the truth and I gave them answers the questions they weren't asking. I didn't isolate. I avoided Isolation Isolation is a death sentence. And the other thing As I let people help me Oh, as a Green Baret as a big deal, that's a big deal. Right? I mean, I'm supposed to have it together all the time. And so I tell him the truth on the steps that I took.

Dr. Terry Weyman:

You know, you just kind of kind of alluded to it a little bit. But do you think that people, when they come to you, at your talks and all that they want the quick fix? They want that quick? You know, this, I'm fine. And what do you think that they truly don't understand? Are they not allowing themselves that Nick, that deep layer of, of understanding or that deep layer of looking inside themselves? What do you think is what's been missed? You know, when you when you hear these questions over and over, and over and over, it's the same one over and over and over? And what do you think is truly not understood?

Unknown:

We live in an instant message culture, right? We live in a microwave generation, I want to be able, I want to be able to stick it in the microwave, and then five minutes or two minutes, I want to be able to eat it. Right? I want to but but think about what think about when you guys were young, and your mother cooked a meal. That was a process, there was a process to it. So these days, people don't want to work the process. They want to they want to, Hey, man, if you're not responding to me, in five seconds, there's a problem, right? And think about you is physicians, how many people come to you and just say, Hey, man, I don't, I don't want to do long work, and you build a plan for them. And they say, I can't afford that. I can't do that. Then, you know, just give me a couple of stretches at home and I'm done. And then and then when you even give them the stretches at home, they don't do them. So that if that answers your question.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

Yeah. So I'm going to try to switch gears for a moment

Dr. Terry Weyman:

so one of the one of the things we we do is a thing called Rapid Fire. And, you know, we'll figure out, you know, I think he froze, because he's just, he's still trying to figure out how that how to process this the story. I mean, it's unbelievable of the amount of faith to so it's, it's, it's, it's amazing that we have the stuff in essence, I think sometimes maybe this microwave culture, we just don't listen. You know, I think we're, we're in a culture of response, not not internally listening to that. If this shooter was still alive, what would you like to ask him?

Unknown:

I don't think I don't know if I will have a question for him personally here. But I really just want to ask him. How are you taking care of your family? How are you taking care of your kids today? Because his family I believe in his children and his wife have to carry the shame of their dad shooting 90 people and killing three of them and then killed himself. Right. So I remember the the cameras in his wife, Stace. And so, I believe that I believe that his is I would just ask him what are you doing the day to restore your family

Dr. Terry Weyman:

that's that's good. Yeah. How you doing there, Spence. You're back can you hear ya know, about now? Boys spent she just got so blown out in the water that your whole

Dr. Spencer Baron:

system 30 shows that the whole electricity went out everywhere. Sorry about that. All right, rapid fire. Here we go. We're going to switch gears and go. I don't even know if I could do this or not me. So moved by your story. But let's go into our our fun part of our program and that is our rapid fire questions. And I'm going to ask you, four to five questions that I need to get a quick answer, but it ends up becoming a longer answer. Are you ready, John? All right. I'm ready. Number one, best tip you learned in therapy that you continue to use today sit still

Unknown:

in solitude, be able to block out noise and be be steel here.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

Good. Question number two, you got a favorite exercise. That is something you go to and why?

Unknown:

Yeah, running, just because it was ingrained in me in the military, and it's who I am now. And I just, it's where it's where I'm in that that's my happy place when I'm out there. And I could run and I'm just quiet. And I just feel like I still feel young when I'm running. I still feel like I'm that young soldier when I'm running.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

You think you'd be sick of it by now? All right. All right, what I do

Unknown:

on treadmills these days, too, you know, so I don't

Dr. Spencer Baron:

rush to number three. If you had a wish to buy a one way ticket somewhere, where would that be? Really,

Unknown:

Hawaii, I've never been there. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. Question number four.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

You're traveling. What is your wake up Good morning routine.

Unknown:

Get in, get into worship, get into prayer, sit with the Lord, start my day with him. Before I do anything else that is the foundation of who I am. And when I fill my cup up, then I'm full to be able to pour out but if I don't start with him, then I start with an empty cup and I'm giving out of dryness. I'm giving out a bareness. And then I that day just ends up becoming a grind. And if you do that over and over and over, people just end up burnout.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

Question number five and the last one. What is the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you? Aside from you being a gang member at one time.

Unknown:

Yeah, um, I like golfing. I want to learn to golf. I, even with one hand, I want to learn to golf, and I want to take up that sport, they probably wouldn't know that. And I just, I see that as is another way of an outlet and finally relaxation and just you know, my wife and I, we enjoy it, but we don't know how to do it. So we want to learn so,

Dr. Terry Weyman:

on that note, I'm gonna ask you one thing, what use do you have your right arm

Unknown:

just it's limited. So for those that can't see it, it's it's limited only goes up that high. And you'll see my my hand. So what they did is they took I can essentially just grab stuff and hold it down. If I can't lift anything up, like over my head, I'm starting to do a little bit more work. But they take they took a nerve from my left leg, my left calf all the way down my my, my left leg and they put it in my right shoulder. So they did a nerve graft. That's what gave me my that's what gave me the use of my arm back. There was a there was an Air Force Mayo Clinic resident when I ended up at Brooke Army Medical Center, and he understood brachial plexus, which is which is a godsend. Because, you know, that's very specific. So, yeah, so I have I can move my arm, you know, but it's very limited.

Dr. Terry Weyman:

The reason I brought that up, I was I was at the driving range yesterday. And I'm a recovering golf guy I used to I used to be able to hit the ball and then I gave it up and then pick it up after like, almost 30 years and some terrible and so but as that the range and I and I was hitting the ball. Not very well, but I was hitting the ball. And this guy in front of me was hitting him with one arm. He only had one arm. And he said he came to the range and he had watched a video I guess there's a couple of videos of one arm golfers that that was hitting the ball. His drives were almost 300 yards and he was hitting a driver, a fairway and chipping, all with the right with one arm. And I've never seen that before in my life. And I used to work at the golf course when I was in high school and college. Never seen it before. And it was the first time It's kind of ironic that I just saw that a week ago. And now you're on the thing and you want to learn how to play golf and you got basically use of one arm. So it's possible. And I have a feeling with your mind and your integrity and your will, that you'll beat me within a month.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

What I noticed is that after you were telling all these emotional stories, you're you have such a big smile now. And I couldn't help noticing that an earlier photograph of you when you were in the gang, and you had that typical gang, look, you know, you know, angry that angry, closed, tight lipped get, why are you smiling so much?

Unknown:

Because I found my father, who is in heaven, right. And so I was never an orphan. And when you know your true identity, I don't, I don't have to go looking for it anymore. And there was an amazing, amazing orthodontist that invested in me. And he gave me orthodontic care. And before that, I look like a crocodile with the crocodile teeth. And so you cleaned up my smile. And now I know who I am. I know who I be. I know what I do. I'm a man of faith. I'm a man of God. And I love my family. And I put them first in everything. And so I have joy in my life of joy and peace and kindness and goodness and gentleness and faithfulness, patience, peace and humility, and I love it. And I love telling people how to be transformed. That's what brings me joy. Fantastic.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

Yeah, man, that's great. You just put that positive stuff out there. And it just comes right back to you. I think that gratitude is everything.

Dr. Terry Weyman:

You know, I gotta ask and in I mean, I could, I could listen to you for hours. And now I know why you're a great motivational speaker. I've never been one for motivational speakers. But I would listen to you all day long. And I, I can't, words will express the respect and the, and the words you have on. So you know, God left you on this earth for a huge reason. But you were loved. On that note, God, you were left on this earth for a reason you were told to get up and to deliver a message.

Dr. Spencer Baron:

With

Dr. Terry Weyman:

without we doing what you just said, what's some of the words that you want to leave on people's hearts? They're listening to the show. From all ages, what's some, some some words that you want to do that could have maybe the questions you've been asked over and over, but maybe the deeper solution that they need to hear?

Unknown:

You don't have to chase likes, because you're already loved. Wow, I'll say that again, you don't have to chase likes, because you're already loved. And all you have to do is receive it. You don't have to earn it. And I'm going to share this from my faith. When Jesus came up out of the water. At that point in his ministry, he hadn't preached, he hadn't done anything. And his father says, You are my son in whom I'm well pleased. All he ever had to do was receive his daddy's love. And that's all you have to do is receive your daddy's love, which is why I'm sitting here. This is how I'm able to smile. Because I know that no matter what I'm loved. The other thing is I think it's time that we start asking why are we start making the statements? Why and what does that mean? Just recently, I just had this revelation. When my brother was when we were young, my brother was hit by a car. And from that point on, whenever we got near the road, my dad would just like, freak out and he was like, get away from the road get away from the street. But really, what was he saying? What was his heart's cry, it didn't come out that way. It didn't. It didn't come out in his in almost like anger. It was like get away from the street. But it was his heart cry. And what he was saying is, I love you so much. I couldn't imagine my life without you. So if my dad would have just stopped and slowed down and said, You guys are the most important thing to me. So when I get when you get near the road, I just get so scared. I think it's time that we start actually telling people why do we say and do things because really it's from a wound in our heart that that if we just said you know what, when I was a kid, I didn't have food on my table and so I just make sure I just I react at a certain ways but it's it's not because I don't love you or it's not because I'm doing this it's it's because of wine. So I think now we need to start having discussions because husbands and wives need to start looking at each other in the face and saying, the reason why I say that is because the reason why I get so mad when you drink alcohol is because when I was young, my dad, when he came home on Friday nights, he was just he was just an abusive man. And I just get scared and I don't want you becoming my dad. So if we just had those tough conversations and said why I think Holmes would be a lot more wholesome. Oh, boy.

Dr. Terry Weyman:

I think that we I think we need to end on that because these are resonate with people I get. That was fantastic. John, wish I would have known to have to say it one more time. You know, thank you for your service. Thank you for serving people before the war during the war and post war. You know, you're a truly gifted man and we thank you for blessing us with your your your time to welcome

Dr. Spencer Baron:

thank you for listening to today's episode of The cracking backs podcast. We hope you enjoyed it. Make sure you follow us on Instagram at cracking backs podcast. catch new episodes every Monday. See you next time.